A Letter from a Parent to a Teacher

“Children are like buds in a garden and should be carefully and lovingly nurtured, as they are the future of the nation and the citizens of tomorrow,” said India's first prime minister.

“Children are nation's future & tomorrow's citizens.”

But who is responsible in nurturing a child? Who has a wider role to play? Is it the Parent? or The Teacher? Or ….? It is a constant tussle between a parent and a teacher of how much ownership one should take.

As per Indian culture, Teacher is always given a very special place, and he place a crucial role in the upbringing of a child. As the popular salutation goes, “Mathrudevo bhava! Pitrudevo bhava! Acharyadevo bhava!” Meaning “Salutations to Mother! Salutations to Father! and Salutations to Teacher!” As per this statement, it is an equal responsibility of a Parent and a Teacher to together nurture the child for a bright future. However, A Guru / Teacher is always given a bigger seat and respect in Hindu Mythology. It is believed that “Even if God is displeased with you, a Teacher / Guru can guide you. But if the Guru himself is displeased, no one else can give you a direction!”

Further a popular poem in Sanskrit about Guru goes –

“GururBrahma GururVishnu GururDevo Maheshwaraha

 Guru Saakshaat ParaBrahma Tasmai Sri Gurave Namaha!”

Meaning - Guru is the Creator (Brahma), Guru is the Preserver (Vishnu), Gurudev is the Destroyer (Maheshwara). Guru is the absolute (singular) Lord himself, Salutations to that Sri Guru.

Best Indian poet narrated nature as one of the best teachers. Nature being a place from where we can learn to be obedient, polite, thankful, pleasant and show gratitude. Here is a poem by a famous Hindi poet Srinath Singh

फूलों से नित हँसना सीखो, भौंरों से नित गाना।
तरु की झुकी डालियों से नित, सीखो शीश झुकाना!

सीख हवा के झोकों से लो, हिलना, जगत हिलाना!
दूध और पानी से सीखो, मिलना और मिलाना!

सूरज की किरणों से सीखो, जगना और जगाना!
लता और पेड़ों से सीखो, सबको गले लगाना!

वर्षा की बूँदों से सीखो, सबसे प्रेम बढ़ाना!
मेहँदी से सीखो सब ही पर, अपना रंग चढ़ाना!

मछली से सीखो स्वदेश के लिए तड़पकर मरना!
पतझड़ के पेड़ों से सीखो, दुख में धीरज धरना!

पृथ्वी से सीखो प्राणी की सच्ची सेवा करना!
दीपक से सीखो, जितना हो सके अँधेरा हरना! 

जलधारा से सीखो, आगे जीवन पथ पर बढ़ना!
और धुएँ से सीखो हरदम ऊँचे ही पर चढ़ना!

(साभार: श्रीनाथ सिंह द्वारा लिखित कविता “सीखो”)

Meaning:

Learn to carry a pleasant smile and pleasing tone like the flowers and bees around. Learn to respect everyone with gratitude, collaborate and make thick bonds with people like the milk and water. Learn to extend helping hand and serving without pride sun and starts. From the tall and strong mountains, learn to stand for your people even in time of difficulty. Learn to extend a selfless help from the nature around you. From the air, learn to use soft and empathic words, as words are more powerful than a sword. Learn from the fish on how to respect your nation / home land. Learn from the waterfall to always perform deeds that benefit for the people you meet and greet. Learn from the smoke to always aim to raise high and achieve the maximum height in whatever you do.

There are many famous poets who have described mother nature as the best guru even in western culture. The same kind of respect and importance for Guru is given to teachers in the west. They are seen as one of the strongest and major pillars in building a bright child. Given all this is in right place and right detail, the question of how and what it takes to build an efficient adult remains not very clearly answered. Trying to answer myself, on what is the right in upbringing your child? Where should you draw a line of being loveable, caring Vs tough and rigid? I referred to the wonderful collections from historical books. There is so much literature that I found relevant to date. It made me wonder if the scholars of that time could foresee the future and wrote to stay relevant to modern times? Or maybe Morals always remain the same, irrespective of what age you belong to. I strongly believe that the second statement has more value than the first.

One such extract that stuck my eyes is the “Letter of Abraham Lincoln”. Thought is letter is aged from past, it stands relevance even today. Though it is addressed to a Teacher, I felt, it applies equally to parents, especially mothers like me, who are struggling to raise their kids with ethical standards, in this urban jungle. The urban story of each parent about their child, funnels down to the same dilemma of what is right up-brining of a child. How much can you allow him to fall so that he can still raise strong and straight.

This letter by Abraham Lincoln wonderfully summarizes the morals of up-brining, the balances of being rigid and compassionate, how much and how long to allow your child sail through the crests and troughs. It narrates the way of building a strong future citizen piece by piece. 

Abraham Lincoln writes this letter to the teacher of his son’s class.

“He will have to learn; I know that all men are not Just. All men are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel, there is a hero; that for every selfish politician, there is a dedicated leader.

Teach him that for every enemy there is a friend. Teach him that a dollar earned is of far more value than five found. Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy winning. Steer him away from envy, if you can.

Teach him the secret of quite laughter. Teach him the wonder of books, but also give him quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on a green hill side.

In school, teach him it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong. Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with the tough.

Try to give him the strength not to follow the crowd, when everyone is getting on the band wagon. Teach him to listen to all men, but teach him also to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and take only the good that comes through.

Teach him how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame in tears. Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob; and to stand and fight if he thinks he’s right.

Treat him gently, but don’t cuddle him. Because only the test of fire makes fine steel. Let him have the courage to be impatient. Let him have the patience to be brave.

Teach him always to have sublime faith in his creator and faith in himself too, because, then he will always have faith in mankind. This is a big order but please see what you can do.

He is such a fine little fellow, my Son!”

~ Abraham Lincoln

As you can read, each word written by Abraham Lincoln like a casting stone holds it place tall and strong even in today’s world of Digitization and Automation. For me, it seemed to have answered far many questions of what, how, when and how much!

I made sure to save it in my library, right at the top, in front of my eyes. So that whenever I feel I’ve derailed, I grab it for a quick read! Realign myself and pull myself on track. After all, by raising my child, I’m contributing to build my nation, give my nation a responsible citizen.